1. Just because there's more of them doesn't mean they turn us on more. Sometimes big breasts are less sensitive than small breasts. Other parts of our body enjoy foreplay too, y'know. Why not explore a little...
2. We don't all have massive nipples. Some do, some don't. Try not to act surprised, either way.
3. You'll encounter other women being obsessed with them more than other men. Sure, we might get some hardcore staring from the fellas, but other women will have a whole talk with us about them. They can't get enough and will always ask for a little honk. Just get used to this.
4. Don't make us work to a short deadline because we can't run anywhere.
5. We're just adjusting, not doing an alluring breast-caress for you. It's just not possible to spend a whole day in an underwired bra without having to make several gropey alterations along the way. We'll rummage in public because we must.
6. When we go on vacation with you, we're gonna end up more tanned on the front than on the back. Unless you want to dig a small well for our breasts to lie in while we lie on our front? Eh.
7. Don't be alarmed when we start playing with or fondling them. As you no doubt know, big breasts can be like great big, squidgy comfort blankets, so when we're watching TV, we sometimes wedge our hands into our bras, just because it feels lovely.
8. You will, at some point, put our bras on your head. You just will.
9. You might also work your muscles a bit. They're heavy.
10. We might complain about not being able to wear certain tops ... and not being able to buy dresses which fit our bottom half and our top half. Our kingdom for a slinky backless top. Sigh.
11. We get that you want to put your penis in between them. Which we may oblige to, but don't ask for it every day — it's really not what most would call a good time.
12. Tread carefully if you're buying us lingerie. We probably need something underwired, and we're a million different sizes in a million different shops. A double D isn't as big a size as you thought it was — oh, and also silky nighties don't really work that well ... and ... why don't we just come with you.
13. We know they're there and they're magnificent, but please focus on other stuff. We can't help our massive mammaries, but we can help our wit, intelligence and sense of humor — so be thoughtful with the compliments.
14. Don't react with such horror if we ever mention (or show you, actually, they're not pretty) our minimizer bras. Sometimes a beautiful top needs to be worn, and the fashion industry just doesn't cater for the chestily endowed that well yet.
15. You'll find a lot of bras in the living room. Because taking them off once we get on that sofa is a heaven that nothing else can replicate.
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